Day 4: Waterloo & Norwich

        Today I'm off to Norwich for a show in the evening at Gonzo's Tea House, I've been excited about today since I thought of this stupid timewasting blog idea, because I looked it up and found that there is in fact a GBK in Norwich, and so having planned my Megabus journey accordingly, I'm planning to have breakfast in the Waterloo location, and late lunch in Norwich. My bus gets in at 4pm, which gives me an hour to allow for any lateness/misadventures – I'm pretty confident I'm going to make it. I love these little threading-the-needle type adventures, where time is scarce and the pressure is on. It doesn't matter whatsoever to anyone if I succeed or fail, but the rush pushes those kinds of dull thoughts to the side and gives meaning to an otherwise pointless day. Damn it I forgot to brush my teeth.

GBK Waterloo

        The shop looks long and thing when you walk through the front door, but there was a little surprise waiting for me just past the counter which stretches along the left edge of the space; at the end the room opens up again to reveal a little secret or “hidden” area. The couches are upholstered in a sort of faux-plush style, it's almost palatial, except it's not because it's fake duh. The just started playing hip hop. This is easily the best I've felt sitting in any GBK since the Haverstock Hill spot on Tuesday. Fuck yes people, today is Friday. Decor/Vibes: 4.5

Hidden!

        The chick who served me, whose name is apparently Siobhan (although who trusts the names on the receipts REALLY, she could be using anyone's log in there and masquerading as a completely different person entirely. Trust nobody.), was lively and looked into my eyes. I asked for my burger to take away today, but still took the coleslaw side to have in, and she didn't flinch. She even laughed when I said something about not wanting to “fuck with the coleslaw to take away cos it's all messy and shit”. She laughed kind of early though, which gave me the impression that she was just laughing to the rhythm of our conversation, like she knew intuitively that whatever I was about to say next would be some kind of dumb joke to fill space while she entered things into her computer. Regardless, I like her. Staff: 4.5

        The coleslaw is salty as fuck. Crazy salty. I'm not into it, I don't think I'll finish it actually. Yeah, bummer. I wonder how the veggie burger is going to be? I'm not going to put it in the score for this place because unless it's amazing it's not going to make up for this garbage coleslaw, soz guys. Maybe if the burger sucks as well I'll take points off the score for the GBK in Norwich? That'd be funny hey. Hahahahaha. Fuck this stupid blog. Food: 2

I realised what the problem was, there were no POMMEGRANATE SEEDS. What the fuck.

        The toilet's were okay, there was toilet paper on the floor but it wasn't wet like yetserday's and anyway I like this place so fuck it. Toilets: 5

        I'm super excited to go to Norwich, but I need to bounce right now to catch the bus. I can still feel the salt from that coleslaw in my mouth, and feel the dryness on my lips. That's bummed me out a little, but that chick was so cool, and this secret room is so secret. Final Score: 4

GBK Norwich

        Made it! The bus took 45 minutes longer than expected and led us through traffic jams and a lot of adolescent canoodling from the seat in front of me, but we pulled into Norwich Bus Station at 1645, and after a brisk run through the town, I burst Kramer-like through the door with eight minutes to spare. Some have been sceptical of my dietary choices over these last few days, claiming the negative effects of all this grease and salt on my heart as a reason to change things up a little. I assure you though, when I was finally sure that I'd made it here in time and was going to get my free food, my heart was not just fine, it was SINGING!

        The chairs in here are big! They're wooden, and I don't mean bit as in like armchairs, they're just very wide, they're normal dinner-table chairs like you'd find in any restaurant, but the seat part where your butt goes is EXPANSIVE! Like a canoe. I just looked around and realised not all of the chairs are like this – minus points for lack of uniformity.
        The upstairs here is way bigger than the downstairs; there's no one sitting up there right now, it felt like maybe it's reserved for private functions or some such. I could see the tree tops and foliage from out of the full length windows and it was all very airy and light. A beautiful space. I don't know what's making me hold back on these scores, because really I don't see how a place like this could get much nicer for what it is. There's not a lot of atmosphere, but then again at the times I've been coming, why would there be? Just to break the mould I'll go Decor/Vibe: 4.5

        The guy who served me was very helpful in explaining the voucher, which is what I usually let them do just to calm my own nerves about this deception, it's a funny little dance. He also offered me a choice of dipping sauce for my chips which I've never been offered before, but it was free and hey! So I went with Sriracha Aoli (duh), and am retrospectively furious with every staff member I've had up until this point for not making the same offer.
        I noticed the girl on the floor did interrupt the conversation at the table behind me to ask if everything was okay, but she did also apologise for interrupting, so maybe that's something they're required to do? It was an elegant interruption though, and she was similarly gracious with me, calling me “sir”, asking if I needed anything else. I noticed at the Clink St store that they had a peg they took off my little cutlery bucket to mark when they'd hit that point of service, and that struck me as a little tacky, although not unsubtle and I will concede, a decent system. Still though, there's none of that here, I feel quite well treated and comfortable. Go Norwich! Staff 4.5

        Burger was good, size of fillet was good, bun charred nicely, Sriracha Aioli was okay, a bit lacking in that garlicy aioli flavour actually, a bit more like a creamy capsicum affair, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. Can't lose sight of the fact that I'm only ordering off the lunch menu, and as such the stuff I'm eating is very Entry Level. Food: 3.5

The Cabinet of Dr Caligari

        I'm very aware that the toilet section has often departed from a report on cleanliness to muse on the architecture and layout of the bathrooms, but what can I say, I'm a cultured fella! The floors had a very interesting pattern reminiscent of something you might see in a tile, but made out of some plastic floor-specific composite. It reminded me of something you might look at while on acid and wonder whether it was actually moving before snapping out of the trance to check if you were wearing a suit. “Where am I?”, the Acid Brain asks.
        “You're in a toilet.”
        “But which one? How long have I been here? Is there anyone waiting outside for me?”
        Upon leaving the stall the steps back down to the ground level dining area would present an almost insurmountable obstacle, but the design suggests this is not the kind of establishment where that kind of thing is a problem, as there is no grate or drain to allow the ensuing bodily fluid to drip through. Toilets: 4

        Today has been a good day. I've got a gig tonight and I have a good feeling about it. Tomorrow I'm not going to eat GBK, and I'm very excited about the prospect. That's not to say that the eight visits this week haven't each been a separate and individual delight, they have, but I'm very tired, and I can feel my heart telling me to stop. GBK Norwich: 4.5

        See you on Monday. Eugh, sigh.