GBK Greenwich
The space here is a lot tighter than the others I've been to, and I rate it so much higher for it. Instead of these gasping spaces filled with tables just for the sake of it, the Greenwich store is compact, with tables pressed against built-in couches on the walls and chairs opposing them. The staircase juts up to the right and the bannister is a prominent feature as soon as you walk in. It's blue, like a matte version of those 'metalic' pens that rich kids used to have in their pencilcases in primary school. Remember? And you'd borrow one to draw the edge of a sword or something, and then not give it back for like two weeks. Remember those? That's what this staircase looks like. The upstairs itself looks nice... LOOKS nice... okay before I get to that. Decor/Vibe: 4
When I walked in I was quite clearly the first customer of the day. The girl behind the counter greeted me and then we fumbled around a bit trying to get bearings on each other and figure out how this was going to go, after a while I mentioned I might take a look around upstairs because it looked nice, and she asked me (with a mild plea) if I could not, because she was the only staff member on. I obliged, but fuck me if I wasn't PISSED about it. I WANNA SIT UPSTAIRS! NO!! There were two more people on the floor before my food even came out, it would have been totally fine. She just didn't want to do the leg-work. I'm being overly harsh of course, I get it, and for the rest of the time she was fine. A bit uncomfortable in her pandering over-niceness – “cloying” was the other word I wanted to use there, but couldn't make fit. Nah, not into it. Staff: 2.5
The food was how the food always is (oh my god what a dismissive sentence, I think I might be starting to convince myself I actually had a bad time today? No. No not quite, surely). I got the grilled chicken burger again, and it was fresh and nice, the bun got a bit wet on one side, but I don't know if that's my fault or theirs. The blue cheese 'slaw was great, not an every day thing, but definitely if you're in the mood for it, go get yourself some. The water was chilled to a pleasing level. Food: 4
The toilets. Oh the toilets. Hahahaha... I mean look, I really thought this category would just be a space for me to vent from now on, because I expected the toilets to be almost exactly the same across every store, and so far they've been great. They were great here too... but just less great, and that has so defied my expectations that I'm almost enjoying how upset I am. IT WAS THE FLOOR!! Oh man the floor on these toilets, fuck off. I wouldn't use that linoleum to wrap a dead body up. I wouldn't use it to sand my neighbour's fence. I wouldn't use it to rub boils of the bottoms of your mum's feet before I fucked her THE FLOORS WERE THAT BAD! Take a look at the pictures. Then I found a random corner of some packet of sweets on the cistern and this outburst pretty much wrote itself. Toilets: 2
As much as I really love the quaint layout of this shop, and as much as the girl who served me really wasn't bad at all she was actually lovely, and the food was good, and the toilets were good also, something just seems off about this place. Maybe it's the oxygen? Final Score: 3.2
It started raining about five minutes after I left Robyn's house in Honor Oak where I've been crashing on a memory foam mattress in her lounge/kitchen for the last week. The last time I came to East Dulwich was over a year ago, I was on a charity shop mission to buy some second hand clothes on a tip off from a rich friend with good style. This time I came to get FED!
I missed the bus stop because I was reading an Guardian Football article, and while I'm not against missing stops, it did mean I had an extra few minutes walking through the rain, and my 5pm voucher-deadline was fast approaching. I missed the entrance to the restaurant on my first pass, and found myself staring at the door to someone's flat. That was annoying, but everything else about this GBK is nice. The shop is long and thin, the floor plan is clever with single tables against the wall and doubles in the middle, meaning that those dreaded free-standing tables are taken up by groups rather than stranded individuals. Right now the music is some type of blues – I'm becoming fairly convinced that they do have a standard playlist across all GBK venues because of the lack of variation I've heard in the last few days. It's good music though. Also on a sunny day the outdoor area with nice big wooden planters looks a treat. Decor/Vibes: 4
The girl who served me (no receipt! How will I ever know her name?!) got straight to the point when I showed her my card at 4:45, and we got the business of ordering done before I'd even sat down. I'm getting more confident with ordering what I know I'm going to get anyway without having to look at the menu and feign interest to keep up the charade of never having used a free meal voucher before. That's going to have to be the move in Edinburgh, so this is all training. The guy who brought my food out later came by for a, “everything okay?” pass, and called me, “young man,” in the process. He can't be more than five years my senior, not sure how I feel about that. It did feel nice to be called young man though, it's still dignified, but maybe just feels incorrect in my heart. I've been noticing that recently: this year, 26, it's felt markedly different to the rest of my 20s. I feel very at at peace with myself and my identity, and less like I need to impress people or dig for approval all the time, but then again I am also conscious of the distance between me and someone who is say 20. That's a lot of living. I know they can't feel it, but I can, and it makes me feel like they're somehow judging me. I guess I just contradicted myself there, that wasn't really the most comfortable, self-assured admission... anyway. Staff: 4
The burger was better than this morning's. I'll say it right fucking now I don't care who's listening. I put hot sauce on it, which I forgot to do in Greenwich, but it also just FELT more... more right, you know? It MEANT more. I've been doing things all day, so it felt like I really deserved this burger. I know that's not the fault of the chef in either venue, but I can't help but mark accordingly. Anything less would be dishonest. Food: 4.5
Once a doctor told me, after I'd inquired as to why I take such regular (and freakishly quick!) trips to the bathroom, that one thing I can do about that is treat the need to urinate like a sort of exercise. The bladder – or urethra, or dick or whatever part of the body that stops pee coming out – it's a muscle like any other, so if you train it, it gets stronger, and you can hold a pee for longer. That's what he told me, and every now and then when I feel like I have some free emotional energy left in me, I'll hold onto a pee for what feels like an athletic amount of time, before rewarding myself with sweet release, and hoping that that's what he was talking about. I don't need to pee that badly right now, but I will, even though it goes against everything that great man taught me. Because I have standards to uphold in this blog, and because it feels good. …… GBK EAST DULWICH YOU HAVE BEEN FOUND OUT!! Well aren't I just a little bit glad that I went in there! The shared male/female toilet was out of order, leaving only the disabled toilets free for use, and upon entering... a PUDDLE of liquefied toilet paper on the floor next to the toilet. The floor was once again not the gleaming tiles I've become used to in the last few days, but instead some thick homage to the scientific discovery of bacteria by Antonie van Leeuwenhoek in 1676, all rubbery and beige. No, not at all. Not one little bit thankyou very much. Toilets: 2
What a day it's been. The rain has stopped, and señor is currently whipping round with a dustpan and brush trying to pretend that the toilets in this establishment do not bring shame upon this family. But they do sir, and you cannot hide. Thankyou.
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